Wow. I have almost forgotten the pure joy and serenity that comes from keeping a blog. Transcribing my growth over time was something that helped me to continue moving forward. I started this blog for a class that I had senior year (I have graduated this past June). At first, it was designed merely to track the progress that we were making in that class. I made it because I had to. I never once thought that I would take to it like a fish to water. I personally believe that I fell into it so easily because it wasn't like keeping a record in a way that we had to in other classes. We weren't writing about nonsense. I wasn't having to write about things that I didn't deem important to myself. We were reflecting upon the things that we were doing, reinforcing and reconstructing them in our ways, our own words.
These past few months seemed to drag by. I forgot the one thing that my Principles of Democracy and 21st Century Global Studies teacher (Ms. Suzie Nestico) had taught us. That lesson: reflect upon each and everything. I wasn't thinking about the journeys that I was taking and the lessons that were coming out of them. I as just going along for the ride and then later turning to wonder what they were actually about. And now as I sit here, reflecting for the first time since I was handed my diploma, I can see all of the lessons that life has handed me, sometimes in the funniest of ways.
I had plans, dreams for what I would do after high school. I was to attend my dream college (Arcadia University) to further my studies. What those studies varied from day to day. One day I would want to be a Marine Biologist and Zoologist and travel the world. And when I was ready to begin a family, I would become a high school biology teacher. Another day I would want to be a photo journalist and work with National Geographic. So many different thoughts and career choices have flown this teenage mind of mine. But sadly, that didn't fit in with Gods plans. So I am still in Mount Carmel. But I think I may be finding my place in the world. I think I know why God chose me to stay where I am.
Many teens in today's society are interested in one thing: having the time of their lives. And why shouldn't they? We are young. There is so much out there to experience, so much to learn about and do. The pull that the smallest things have on us immense. It can get hard to resist. But I personally have been able to see beyond that. I was born with the gift to see the way things will turn out before I take part in them. I have managed to stay out of major trouble up until this point in my life. And I plan to keep it that way. I'm not saying that I am better then anyone. I have had my fair share of mess ups in my life time. I was just fortunate enough not to caught doing them or afterwards. And I thank the Lord for protecting me.
But My purpose in this life is to help people. I am a born helper, I have always been that way. SO many times in my life I have had people coming to me, looking for words of comfort, or looking merely to vent. And I am always willing to listen if that is what you need. I will do my very best to point you in the right direction. I wont do the work for you, but I will watch and help you up after you fall and hit the ground.
At times though, I think that I often times put other people first too often. Sometimes I need to do things for myself first. And that is why I am beginning a new chapter in my life. I am currently working two jobs. On top of that, I am working on getting an apartment. A very close friend presented the offer to me, and with the rest of my household moving into a new house, I thought that this would be a wonderful time and experience. So I gladly accepted. I know that an entirely new level of responsibility is going to be coming with this. And although the weight of it all is going to enormous, I am not going to let it get the best of me. For the first time, I'm not going to be able to fall back on my mother to care for me. It is time for me to show the world that I am ready for the worst that it has to offer.
It was a beautiful and liberating thing to reflect once more. I hope that I will soon be able to write once again, to get my words out there. Who knows how my blog may evolve. It already has hit a few different levels, each better the last last in my opinion. I hope that whom ever might have stumbled across it can find my words pleasing and pleasant to read. Don't fear commenting. I would love to get the feed back. to see what the rest of the world things. Who knows, maybe we can teach one another something. Until next time, please remember, if you don't feel loved, someone loves. Heck, I love you and I don't even know you. The world would be a much better place if people would love without caring about what the other person is like. So love each and every person that you happen to see. :)
